Peace, Justice, Love and Tolerance

So many voices speaking out for truth.
Articulate arguments for peace, justice, love, and tolerance
It's the purpose of the UN you know:
Peace by cajoling and political maneuvering
Does that ever really work?
You cannot make people choose.
Artists capture the ideal, compelling us all.
Everyone loves the idea of peace.
Even those who would purposefully cause pain
It's so much easier to gain an advantage when people's guard is down.

Free will and choice of the individual cannot be stopped
Cannot be taken away
People's have the power to either hurt those around them
or add to their lives
So often, the choice is to take
Without thinking.
Maybe on purpose,
Maybe innocently.
It's just what happens: they say.
It's the way we it's done: not their idea.
They don't have a choice.
They are not to blame...

Who is?
At some point, it has to be ourselves
That choose to stop taking, and give to others.
Not because it's moral
Not because we're making someone happy
But because being a whole person means we take on our own pain.
Not subtly push it to someone else.

This is life

I understand the cost to own pain
I understand the drive to stop those who don't.
I understand the desire to be free of pain.
I feel the hopelessness.
But I'm also blessed to understand the joy of being around those that add life and liveliness

We cannot stop people choosing to pass the pain.
We can't really blame them: we've all done it
Whether they do it because they lack awareness of what they do
Or believe they are entitled to be free,
We cannot stop them.
We must choose to own our pain.

We have to forgive.
We have to trust.
We have to choose to own that.

Welcome to the family, Parker

We got ourselves a new dog!

We found Parker (Lab/Collie mix) at the Red Deer SPCA. He belonged to a family in Red Deer, that apparently had several small children and we guess that there was just too much going on.

He's 11 months, so not quite done with being a puppy, but was obviously well cared for. He's a low energy dog, and so is very happy to lie around when we are not busy. Right from the get go he feel into a good walking step with us, and loves to sniff things and a very gentle soul.

He does seem to be a little skiddish of a few things: loud noises seem to fluster him a bit, he seems afraid of splashes of water, and brooms. He certainly isn't eating very well yet, but otherwise he seems to have adjusted very well, and is extremely well adjusted. He is very interested in pleasing everyone around, so we feel very fortunate to have found him.

A couple days ago, my son and I took Parker out to the Dickson Dam resevoir for a walk. There was lots of talk of mathmatical proofs (the Banach-Tarski paradox states that 1 sphere can be cut into 5 pieces and re-assembled into 2 spheres identical to the first) and the whole ride home was spent bantering on the effects of cutting a quantum cloud in half. The math and physics remain unsolved, but the dog got a good walk and I had at least a couple good quantum questions. Parker was sleeping soundly after all that sniffing.

We look forward to Parker being with us for many years to come.

Sunday morning bath in the pond

http://picasaweb.google.com/brucemilne/Animals#5336844815673390786

My son's shower epiphany

On our way in the van out to Mother's Day events in Three Hills, My son spoke up with his shower epiphany.

'Mercy is really meaningless and wasted, if the person being given mercy is not aware of what they have done wrong.'

Wow.

Should a new range hood install take 8+ hours?

That doesn't even include the prep time on the wall! Many thanks to my wife for help out at times, and Scott who dove in and got busy. He really did great, and found things I had missed and fixed them on his own!! Another reno junkie in the making?

The space had a fridge in it when we started, and as you can see once removed there was gaping holes in the lath and plaster, and a terrible lack of vapour barrier and insulation. Once taken down to the studs, the 2x4 walls built out to 2x6, new electrical, new gas supply and some plywood finish to stand in for drywall, we get to putting in the range hood.

The new stove is about as professional as you can get at home, and can generate more BTU's than my furnace. A 36" BlueStar with built in grill and two 22k BTU burners. And now a hood to match!

I should mention that this is just planning/staging/proto-typing of our kitchen. We're thinking green, with a white subway tile backsplash, maybe stainless steel countertops, etc, etc, but so far we've just re-done the back door, and this 6 foot space. Maybe we're crazy to do a bit at a time, but this is what works for us. I could really make a good argument for working through decisions and planning this way in stages, rather than trying to plan the whole stinking thing at once. We weren't planning on starting the kitchen yet, still other things in progress. I just found the stove at cost, and knew that I would have to pay almost 3 times the price to order anything of this magnitude at regular prices.

The hood is a Broan 36" shell, with a external 1200 cfm blower. Ok, according to the formula one uses to determin how big your range hood needs to be, 900 cfm would have been enough, and twice as much as the typical kitchen blower. But with that grill, I wanted to *make sure* I didn't smoke up the house with the grill.

It's turned out better than expected! At about 1/3 power, I pull enough air to match 'normal' exhaust and it's very quiet because of the commercial style baffles and the motor outside. At full bore, it's enough suction to easily handle my pork chop test drive, and more I'm sure. Standing outside, it is amazing the down draft coming out of that thing...

So far, so good. The first chops disappeared quickly. I love cooking with all the horse power and look forward to working her hard!

The importance of choice.

At times I go on and on about choices, and perhaps tend to be a little
too black and white. Life, sometimes isn't that easy. But chances
are those dificulties stem from past choices. Consequences hurt.
Here's the condensed version of my theology on choices.

1. The great thing about being an adult, is that we get to choose.
2. Your choice isn't right, or wrong sometimes: it's just your choice.
3. Sometimes, you need to wait to enjoy the fruit of your choice, but
good choices always bring joy.
4. When we fail to choose, we frustrate ourselves and poison others.
5. Growth and fulfilment come from choice.
6. We have to own our lives, in order to choose.
7. God will judge your choices: learn to choose well.
8. We understand ourselves, and others better when we choose.
9. We empower ourselves and others when we make choices that benefit
the comunities around us.
10. Owning other peoples reponsibilities and choices is generally not
healthy and creates dependancy.
11. Nothing robs life and liveliness like failure to understand and
own your choices.

Living a life full of liveliness includes grieving

I think it's obvious to anyone that knows me, or interacts with me often, that I'm not really myself at the moment. That's what drives me nuts about my moment in the ditch: I'm just not myself. Normally, I don't drive into ditches. I'm tired often, possibly entirely due to an emotionally draining last year but also due to my brain churning on bigger issues. I struggle to enjoy cooking and even feel overwhelmed with some of the basic tasks to be done. It's fair to say that recent events are still hanging painfully hard on me.

I've been reading articles here and there online about grieving. They all seem quite academic, and there isn't much in the way of practical help. Talking with Steve the other day helped a lot. Steve often seems to put things in a very practical way. He was expressing some of his own experience with his Father dying, and he said that his father dying just made things different. The world was changed, and getting used to the world being different is something that people that are grieving need to adapt to. That is the grieving process. That made sense to me, and is some good practical help.

If you had asked me a year ago how grieving would go, I would have said very little about the bigger picture, and talked about a relationship with the person that died. I thought my head would be swimming about my my Father and what was lost, and possibly yet undone between us. But instead it seems to be quite backward. I don't think about our relationship at all: nothing seems left undone, no unanswered questions on my mind, no unfinished business. But yet, my brain spins on a world that is different.

Scott Peck in 'The Road less Travelled' talks about balance and the depression that comes from letting go of the things we love in order to maintain that balance. If we are honest about life, things do change from time to time and we must let go of some things we love to maintain our balance. Or we have to lie to ourselves and avoid change in order to keep that balance. I'm just not sure what has changed so far, and what I need to honestly face.

Maybe it's as simple as giving up my chance to be and interact with my Father, and in him dying I've lost the ability, or option, to be there as a part of his life. That doesn't seem to be it, for me. Perhaps it's just understanding in a very personal way the implications of a life ending and I'm churning on if I've made the right choices that matter to me. That could be it. It's possibly as simple as being nailed with the stark reality of what is important in my life. Not in an angry way, but we only get one shot at a lifetime, and it needs to count.

It is very clear to me that my father fiercely created and lived the life he chose. Which seems so much of a tragedy to me because he chose not to share so much of himself, but locked it up. Finished, forever. Ironically my father would have scoffed at a lot of emotional noise. He'd say 'All I need is my Bible.' Sadly, that misses the point, or perhaps highlights it. I don't want to be detached from people and lock myself away. I don't want to fear and hide, I want to share in community with good people, and be balanced.

I choose to share with people, even though that means accepting the pains of life. I am so grateful for so many people, near and far, that care about me. Unbelievably so, at a time like this. I look forward to a lifetime full of rich sharing with the people that matter to me. That is what matters to me and I embrace that.