My Peace Plan

Rules to talk with someone about any touchy topic (repeat rules to yourself before speaking)

1. I can not possibly know everything there is to know about this topic.
2. I do not understand everything that has lead this person to their choice whatever it is..
3. There are very many broken things in this world, yet every adult gets to make their own choices.
4. I will talk with this person, and seek to know more about this issue, understand more about their point of view and look for ways I can choose to make a positive difference with them, not against them.

Additionally, you can't say 'but'. No excuses to do the right thing.

I'm always interested in talking with people and learning what they think about the issues of the day. 

Recently, I've had a lot of conversations about the grid lock in politics, the Mid East crisis, gay rights and others.   It's easy to see two sides restating their version of what is right.  The goal of each side is to more forcefully make their point, with a 'more right' position than the other guy, until they win.  We even have polls to show who's winning and how that has changed over the last while.  How did this ever become the right process?  Do you know the right process?

In business two companies often find middle ground when they both can make money.  Not really a solution, as it is more driven by greed than goodwill.  If someone doesn't get the money they are entitled to, they seek a judge to force it.  The result there is a loss of Life and Liveliness and division.

Everyone wants peace, but no one is suggesting a plan to get there.  What literally are the first steps to begin a dialog to peace?  Someone always is helpful to state that dialog is required, but if people do not do dialog that seeks to build, and not destroy, dialog is just busy work.  Dialog about getting what you are entitled too is not helping.  Even if it provides a brief respite, it is at best a stopgap.  The entitlements are bound to repeat.

So here, humbly, I suggest my Plan for Peace.  I've tried to write this to apply to any topic, on any scale.  The bigger the scale, the fuzzier the ownership requirements, the bigger the excuses.   I believe if every one of us enters our dispute following these rules, we will build and not destroy.  If starting with the plan above is deeply uncomfortable, then ask yourself what you believe you are entitled to.

People must choose to find a solution, and it starts with the plan.

Help me Think

Why do we tell people what to do, instead of helping them think through THEIR choices?

I get that a business, informal or formal group, or government has to have rules, either policy and procedure or at least culture and taboo to provide a structure for safety, productivity and efficiency. But why does it always slide to a lazy state of just telling people 'do this'? I even get that unhealthy or immature people need the fear of punishment to help them over ride their passions. Hence, fear is the beginning of wisdom.  

But the goal should always build people up to where they understand their role, boundaries and their responsibilities, and once they have grown up fear is now a detriment.

Fear can backfire. Telling, or controlling the actions in the minutia breeds fear and angry people who are full of excuses because it is not their fault. When you tell someone what to do, you open the opportunity for them to blame you when it doesn't work. Rationally, you cannot tell someone what to do and then expect them to accept the consequences. It also isn't healthy for someone to be told to do something they don't agree with and expect them to own the consequences. Helping people think it through builds society and produces happy people.

For the sake of humanity, we have to take the time and have the discipline required to help people think. I really do think it is just that simple.

I believe

I believe that our purpose on this planet is to learn things through what is around us in order to make choices.  Then live with the consequences ourselves: not pushed onto others, or future generations.  The only thing possible to get from that process is a profound sense of the connectedness of it all, and the importance of community.

From there, one values transparency, equality and respect for all, and works to own the pains of this world for the sake of others.  The result?  A clear understanding that God is alive and active, actions that demonstrate the above, and an ability to enjoy life along with others in each moment.

Seriously folks, that pretty much sums it all up.