Looking back 10 years, when I was turning 30, I had been married for only 2 years and was the father of our fist 6 month old. I don't think 30 was a big deal because *so* much changed starting with getting married, that 30 just didn't seem like a big change at all.
I think there is a clue there. Maybe I have a sense now of 'going the distance'. I've always been one to embrace change, and really do relish new and different things when they come up. Work is demanding, doing home renovations and being a family man definitely takes a lot of energy, but it's all pretty consistent from day to day. Perhaps my fear is that 40 is all about the daily grind.
Not that any of that is bad! I really am living the dream: this is exactly what I wanted! I suspect that if I had stayed in South East Asia to live and work, the issues at hand may just be the same anyway. Perhaps just written in Thai.
I've come a long way, and accomplished much. I think I have done well at keeping going. Yet the irony is that I also am finding limits to what I can do and how much I can do. Perhaps the pain right now is from feeling my finite limits and realizing there is a lot that I just cannot do.
Maybe it's all about learning to remember that 'God is soverign, and all powerful and actively involved in my life today'. Maybe I'm realizing how much God wants to be with me in every moment, and instead of doing more it's all about living more in the moments.
Maybe the pain is all about realizing the moment is critical, and that pain is God's birthday gift to me.
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2 comments:
Happy (belated) Birthday, Bruce.
Thanks Alan. I've had many well wishers, and I think I'm starting to recover. Work can be a blessed thing when it takes your mind off of it. I'm sure Mike will help me deal with whatever is left Friday night!
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