What I do best

I was asked what is it that I do best. Easy to answer for some (like I
fix cars) and really hard in others. I guess the easies answer is that
I like to make an things run.

I was asked once at the end of college, as I went through 'missionary
accreditation' what I would like to do. I told the President of the
Christian and Missionary Alliance who asked, that I want to run stuff.
I had high language scores and wanted to go to a field where many people
were and I'd run the field and leave the others to do their job. Free
them from the administration. I was told the Christian and Missionary
Alliance doesn't send people overseas to run stuff. I should go be a
pastor.

Easy for me now to point at that and call it short sighted. Whatever
'chain of authority' that would violate and whatever sacred cows it
would slaughter, it prevented the mission from moving ahead. I left.
Perhaps I'm flattering myself here, but why would you not want a guy
with decent marks, a knack for languages, who has traveled the world and
eager to make the mission field great not to do what it is he believes
he is best to do? I'm thinking those same people may agree with me today.

What's worse, is I could have written the above the instant after those
words were spoken. I think in some ways for years I've been believing I
just can't do that. Even though as a kid I've had a sense that I'm
built to run stuff. In some ways I've been fighting my own self doubt
still to this day. Why would anyone cast shadows that can only serve to
rob life and liveliness? Why does *anyone* accept that? Why isn't
leadership better at understanding that than me and encouraging it?

How many times have we all tried to control people, instead of our
responsibilities, and not believed the words of others to our own
detriment?