Do you feel truly free?

In your country?
In your circle of friends?
In your workplace?
In your place of worship?
With God?

I had a conversation where the answer was a mix of yes and no. This was interesting to me, since I expected the answer would be a definitive no because none of us are free, or a definitive yes because being in a community involves an acceptance and choice of owning the the rules of that community. There is not freedom without ownership. There is only freedom with submission.

I'm not sure how one ends up in a community (choosing to be there) and not feel ownership with a 'free' voice within that community.

In North America we throw around 'It's a free country' all the time, and it's true: we are free compared to a dictatorship in another country. But there is no free lunch. That freedom is bought with a price. We happen to live (and choose to continue to be!) in a country where people fought for a system of government that gives us choice. That makes us feel free, because for the most part it's so well set up that it just works. But the fact is that if we decided we don't like the rules, and do what we want, there are consequences. Choice includes responsibility. For the most part we follow the rules because they are what we define as 'normal' and it is easy to be compliant (culture subconsciously aids us here).

In reality though, none of us are free.

All of the above are actually the same structures of 'communities' we belong to. Community is important, and includes authority structures (formally or in-formally), rules, responsibilities, and things we get from the community and things we give. There are codes of conduct we choose to submit to in order to be a part of the community to avoid consequences if rules are broken. If we feel free, it is because we are in line with the rules. If we don't feel free, it simply means we don't feel that we have choices and want different things than the community is offering. Ironically, I believe all people have choices: we just don't understand the situation or do not want to own the responsibility of the consequences.

Many brave soldiers have died fighting for a cause in a 'community' we call a country. For right or wrong reasons, whether they chose the cause or felt they didn't have a choice, they fought and died to support the ideals or ideology of that community. Freedom to choose is bought with blood.

If you believe you are free (or without consequence) in any one of those communities above, you likely will not be able to articulate the implied or direct rules or authority in those communities, or understand the rules and authority you have subconsciously accepted and the entirety of the responsibility you bear. If you did, it wouldn't seem so free. If you do not feel free, without understanding and accepting the rules and authority of the community you are in, you will feel confused or frustrated by expectations you can't understand or fear.

If you believe there is freedom without consequence and ownership of choice that you must bear, you have not been paying attention to the sacrifice of all that have come before. You are not special. Life isn't just more fair for you than others: many debts have been paid already. You are just enjoying the consequences of what others that have paid for you. You are blessed, not more special than others. There is no free lunch.

Isn't it bad that 'none of us are free'? Absolutely not! This is just how life works. Life can only flourish when we realize that for there to be 'freedom', ownership of pain has to happen in community with others so we earn freedom together. If we believe we are free (without the hard work of choosing or ownership) then we are just pretending and perhaps even believing we are special and entitled to be exempt from the pain. If we realize that in *any* community we choose to be in, we are a vital part of that community and need to become responsible to participate and support that community. Or choose not to own what is required and leave. This is honest living. People that experience 'freedom' in a community without giving are only half there.

Once we have owned our choices, and contributed together with others, great communities are achieved, and freedom can be enjoyed by all in that community. But no one should feel free from the work to get there. No one should choose to be in a community expecting to get anything positive without giving in. Complacency is not the same as ownership.

Country: Is why you need to take voting seriously, as you have been given the responsibility to be a part of choosing of leadership. Dying in a war may be required, FYI.

Friends: You can't just 'take' in the relationship, you have a responsibility to give and define what being friends means. You absolutely need to be aware of what you are required to give, and what you do and do not agree to in being part of of the relationship. Lest you feel like you have no choice but to go along with someone else's rules.

Workplace: A healthy workplace wants you to speak, own clear responsibilities and give to build the business model. Not to just simply do what you are told and collect a pay check. Something is wrong if that is happening.

Place of Worship: Religion is full of subtle rules. If you choose to brand yourself with a particular set of rules, you should participate 100%. Including your check book.

With God: Ah, the cool thing here is that according to the Red Letters in the Bible, the only requirements are to love the lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. That's it. If there are other rules given to you to please God, there is something wrong.

For me, God is the ultimate authority, and what He thinks matters. We know what is instructed of us (see above) and otherwise, we are free to participate in whatever communities we want, given that we follow His rules while we participate. In fact, I don't think there are prizes in heaven for following any rules created by man, we just have communities as part of how life works. One is not better than another. We are judged on God's rules as we executed them as a part of whatever communities we choose to belong.

We can feel free to any particular community that gives us joy as we own the rules and authority structures of those communities, and enjoy the 'freedom' that comes from accepting and choosing compliance and working hard to give. Knowing that by doing that we are accepted and a valuable part of life. We can expect to feel isolated if we try to join a community, and only exist within that community without accepting ownership and choosing to give.

So the real question is what communities (or authorities) do you choose to submit to? Then the hard question that follows if you do not feel right about being painted with that brush, why do you choose to stay?

Courage

There is nothing more courageous than living the truth.

Measuring grieving

It's been a year, today, that my Dad died.

Honestly, I feel a bit guilty that it really seems to have arrived without any trauma. I feel like I should care more, or have a melt down, or *something*. I just don't feel like I need to. My wife suggests these things are what you make them to be. Thanks Honey. Definitely makes me feel better.

During his illness I experienced a very was almost a visceral sense of fabric of the universe in motion. I didn't feel small, I was a part. I certainly wasn't in control, but I was important. It was all connected. I feel like I was a part of what was happening, and I was really OK to let things happen.

On my last visit with my Dad, he really didn't seem to have any idea of what was coming. I'm not sure if that was the pain killers causing a haze, or the cancer that was killing him, or an unwillingness to accept what was occurring. I suspect the later, as he wanted to get out of hospital, and get on with things. No time for dying, which then and now seems like he horribly missed the point. It's sad for me to say that I really have no idea what he was thinking.

I do have a profound sense of loss with my Dad. But it isn't new. I've had it for many years. But he lived his life the way he wanted, and I did let my sense of loss go long before he was sick. He only wanted so much in a relationship with me. We had that.

I like being a Dad, and being a part of my kids lives. I plan to lean in to my relationship with them as much as I can. I like to tell them how much I care about them, and love them. I try to tangibly show that on a daily basis. My goal as a Dad is to teach them to trust God and themselves. To be self aware and choose for themselves. Then celebrate that with them.

Yeah, I do loose my cool sometimes which sucks: I'm no where near a saint or superman. Most importantly though, we're not done in developing, exploring and enjoying our relationship. No where near done.

That doesn't mean that I haven't though a lot about him over the last 12 months. At first I would think I should give him a call (I usually would initiate contact), and then I would have to remember he's very much out of cell coverage. Now, I have both of those thoughts almost simultaneously. It adds to that that sense of loss every time I can't call. I'm not sure what that means, really. Is that improvement? Not sure. I know things are reaching a balance, and somehow I know it's all OK. Perhaps the only tangible measure is acceptance: and I think I'm there.

I put up this plaque by my office. I enjoy it when people come by, read it, and know I care. If even just in passing. Some do think it's really strange that some ashes are there: even perhaps disrespectful? I don't think I get that either.

Funny, but I know my Dad couldn't give a rip that anyone care to remember him after he was gone. For me I care. I miss him and like to remember his life. That feels good.

Why is change important: Part 2

It provides opportunity for us be whole.

I believe being truly happy, is a result of choosing well. When we choose well, we encourage life and liveliness for ourselves and others.

Sometimes choices are hard.

It's easy to point at other broken people or things and want to make outward changes. There may be 'corporate' type things you are responsible for and you must make hard choices. This might easily fit a workplace. Choose the things that add to life and liveliness of those around and the world will be a better place. It's your responsibility.

But what about the things that we need? It's funny, but we all know getting things we want will not make us happy. You can't buy, manoeuvre, plan, or takeover happiness. But we all try. Again and again. Finding the 'right spouse', changing a government, making someone pay, having riches. No good.

Yet, investing yourself in a good spouse, seeking to work to make a government better, forgiving wrongs, working hard to earn that whatever you want drives the mechanics inside us all to feel contentment. Guess what? That adds life and liveliness to yourself and others.

It is change that gives us this opportunity. The trick is knowing what you need to control, and then choosing a course that gives, not takes. Which requires you personally to give of yourself. A life of careful choices to give, it what is key, to ultimately feel full of purpose and to feel whole.

Articulate what has changed, then what that means to you and those around you. Is it adding to life and liveliness, or taking it away? Chances are, the latter. Then ask yourself what is good for me, and others?

I have no idea what you might apply that too, but if your answer is going to require great personal cost, you are probably on the right track.

Peace, Justice, Love and Tolerance

So many voices speaking out for truth.
Articulate arguments for peace, justice, love, and tolerance
It's the purpose of the UN you know:
Peace by cajoling and political maneuvering
Does that ever really work?
You cannot make people choose.
Artists capture the ideal, compelling us all.
Everyone loves the idea of peace.
Even those who would purposefully cause pain
It's so much easier to gain an advantage when people's guard is down.

Free will and choice of the individual cannot be stopped
Cannot be taken away
People's have the power to either hurt those around them
or add to their lives
So often, the choice is to take
Without thinking.
Maybe on purpose,
Maybe innocently.
It's just what happens: they say.
It's the way we it's done: not their idea.
They don't have a choice.
They are not to blame...

Who is?
At some point, it has to be ourselves
That choose to stop taking, and give to others.
Not because it's moral
Not because we're making someone happy
But because being a whole person means we take on our own pain.
Not subtly push it to someone else.

This is life

I understand the cost to own pain
I understand the drive to stop those who don't.
I understand the desire to be free of pain.
I feel the hopelessness.
But I'm also blessed to understand the joy of being around those that add life and liveliness

We cannot stop people choosing to pass the pain.
We can't really blame them: we've all done it
Whether they do it because they lack awareness of what they do
Or believe they are entitled to be free,
We cannot stop them.
We must choose to own our pain.

We have to forgive.
We have to trust.
We have to choose to own that.

My son's shower epiphany

On our way in the van out to Mother's Day events in Three Hills, My son spoke up with his shower epiphany.

'Mercy is really meaningless and wasted, if the person being given mercy is not aware of what they have done wrong.'

Wow.

Living a life full of liveliness includes grieving

I think it's obvious to anyone that knows me, or interacts with me often, that I'm not really myself at the moment. That's what drives me nuts about my moment in the ditch: I'm just not myself. Normally, I don't drive into ditches. I'm tired often, possibly entirely due to an emotionally draining last year but also due to my brain churning on bigger issues. I struggle to enjoy cooking and even feel overwhelmed with some of the basic tasks to be done. It's fair to say that recent events are still hanging painfully hard on me.

I've been reading articles here and there online about grieving. They all seem quite academic, and there isn't much in the way of practical help. Talking with Steve the other day helped a lot. Steve often seems to put things in a very practical way. He was expressing some of his own experience with his Father dying, and he said that his father dying just made things different. The world was changed, and getting used to the world being different is something that people that are grieving need to adapt to. That is the grieving process. That made sense to me, and is some good practical help.

If you had asked me a year ago how grieving would go, I would have said very little about the bigger picture, and talked about a relationship with the person that died. I thought my head would be swimming about my my Father and what was lost, and possibly yet undone between us. But instead it seems to be quite backward. I don't think about our relationship at all: nothing seems left undone, no unanswered questions on my mind, no unfinished business. But yet, my brain spins on a world that is different.

Scott Peck in 'The Road less Travelled' talks about balance and the depression that comes from letting go of the things we love in order to maintain that balance. If we are honest about life, things do change from time to time and we must let go of some things we love to maintain our balance. Or we have to lie to ourselves and avoid change in order to keep that balance. I'm just not sure what has changed so far, and what I need to honestly face.

Maybe it's as simple as giving up my chance to be and interact with my Father, and in him dying I've lost the ability, or option, to be there as a part of his life. That doesn't seem to be it, for me. Perhaps it's just understanding in a very personal way the implications of a life ending and I'm churning on if I've made the right choices that matter to me. That could be it. It's possibly as simple as being nailed with the stark reality of what is important in my life. Not in an angry way, but we only get one shot at a lifetime, and it needs to count.

It is very clear to me that my father fiercely created and lived the life he chose. Which seems so much of a tragedy to me because he chose not to share so much of himself, but locked it up. Finished, forever. Ironically my father would have scoffed at a lot of emotional noise. He'd say 'All I need is my Bible.' Sadly, that misses the point, or perhaps highlights it. I don't want to be detached from people and lock myself away. I don't want to fear and hide, I want to share in community with good people, and be balanced.

I choose to share with people, even though that means accepting the pains of life. I am so grateful for so many people, near and far, that care about me. Unbelievably so, at a time like this. I look forward to a lifetime full of rich sharing with the people that matter to me. That is what matters to me and I embrace that.

Good things happen in the worst times

If there ever was proof that God is there, it's at the worst times.

With my Dad very ill, it's now that all the equations change. My brother pointed out that it doesn't matter what issues you've been holding on to, someone is dying and no one has the luxury of holding on to broken things any more.

We all seem to avoid dealing with so many issues because we're busy. True, you don't want to spend your life all melancholy and dwelling on the negative things that become your 'emotional focus'. That's called self pity. Pushing through the terror and fear that affects you is the process of becoming self aware. We all need to feel the pain and understand a few things: then we need to choose what we are going to do and believe. These are the moments that define who we are.

When we do get through to labeling some things in our own minds, we suddenly can do the right things:
- see the things we can't control (because they are not our to own) and choose to trust those things to be people (or God) who needs to own them.
- realize that we need to open ourselves up to our communities (or loved ones)
- let go of the things that we need to, embrace and dwell on the things that matter

Getting to that moment when we let go requires understanding of ourselves, and that only comes through wrestling with what really matters to you. When we do that, there is peace, rest, joy that we can experience there. We are no longer defined by the brokeness of the things we cannot control.

I'm perhaps overstating the obvious, but it almost seems magical how so much pain gives way to clarity and freedom. No, I'm not overstating it. That is magical.

Can sadness be good?

Is there a good kind of sadness??

My brother John, sister in law Jocelyn, niece Nicole and nephew Ben just left after a week of fun and activity. It was a great time. Train rides, lots of food I had fun cooking, adventures on the prairies, a rodeo and even replacing our back door and working on the man cave with some great timbers John and I bought from a sawmill. Mike, Jeanette and Rachael even joined in!! Man! A busy week, but full of laughter and memories. The kids had a great time playing. John and I laughed ourselves silly as we tore a large hole in the house, and put up some very manly timbers.

They just pulled out, back off on their long way home. People crying and it feels like half of the crew just left leaving a very large vacuum. We're all at loose ends now: no one sure what to do, lots clean up to do, projects to get too and deathly quiet. Is this what parents go through all the time with an empty nest? How on earth is this supposed to be good?

It really sucks, that they had to go. But parties have to come to an end.

Maybe feeling really sad helps you to realize how great it all was. It must be selfish, somehow, because there is no reason to feel bad. I had a years worth of fun, my major 'on vaccation' reno goals have already been met and exceeded, and I even have time left over to start moping up details that are left over. A great vacation, already. Let's face it, to keep that up for another week would probably leave me in the hospital from either exhaustion, some other kind of poisoning or crushed by having a rough sawn timber landing on me as I feel off a ladder laughing too hard.

No, this kind of sadness from deep inside points to how great community can be as people choose to care for each other, and be cared about. There is a good bit of risk of the unknown mixed in there too as people have to figure out how we're going to get along, which could have gone bad. We're family after all! But there wasn't anything bad, and now a deep hole which makes a guy realize just how huge a good time can really be.

Life and community is great. Although the sadness stings, and will for a while, it feels really sweet. And that's the kinds of sweetness in life that money can't buy.

The destructiveness of fear

As Mike has articulated:

The reality of life is suffering.
The reaction to suffering is fear.
The response to fear is the choice to either trust or control.
The effect of control is to propagate suffering.
The result of trust is transformation.
The mechanism of transformation is death.
The opportunity of death is resurrection.
The outcome of resurrection is true life.

Fear is a crippling problem we all deal with, and most of us (dare I say we
all?) don't even know we are reacting in fear to events. When we do, the
life robbing dominoes quickly begin to fall. Worse yet, we don't just rob
ourselves of life and liveliness, the effects propagate and start robbing
life and liveliness from everyone around us.

Parents that live with fear teach their kids that fearing is normal.
Children learn to unconsciously accept fear, and it is normal to fear. They
begin to define how they are going to live our their entire lives based on
fear.

Corporations that fear create cultures at work that then operate on fear.
Decisions are made accepting fear that ultimately affect how staff are
treated and limited in success and liveliness due to the fear that the
company has accepted. Worse, many companies propagate fear in a way to
control staff and customers, defining what is accepted and using fear to
maximize their sales.

My Dad is visiting right now (pictured), and it occurs to me that one of the great
things my father did for me as a kid, was to live fearless. Sure, you can
poke holes into things that happened and find failures: he's only human.
I'm sure some would say that there are consequences to living fearless, and
they would be right. If you own your life and fears, you force others to
deal with their own anxieties.

But I credit my father with giving me a sense of fearlessness that has
helped me. Yet, when I get all balled up and take the time to sort out why
I'm whacked out, you can always trace issues back to fear, and my lack of
control over something that I simply cannot control.

Many would also say that we have to accept and deal with some fears. Fear
is valid! Well no, being sensible by weighing fears and making good
decisions is really a lot of effort, but is what we have to do. Once you
sort out what you need to own, make your own choices for what you want, then
the fear is gone. You choose, and liveliness abounds. Fear, and trusting
God cannot coexist, without taking away your trust in God. Why would we do
that?

I would suggest that if you believe that fear is OK, you are not free. And
you disagree with Christ.

John 8:36 (New International Version)
36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

ADDED NOTE:

Just a note on the consequences of avoiding dealing with fear.

It occurs to me that we only have 2 choices here: ignore self awareness about the subconscious fears that define you, or a *LOT* of hard word to begin to understand how fear defines you.

By choosing the former, you cannot care fully for those around you, and must protect yourself and withdraw. You end up isolated and in a position of hardening yourself to the hurt you inflict on others.

The later is a lot of work, but is where you enable meaningful relationships with others and genuinely are able to care about them.

Transformation requires death

Mike has an excellent post on Change vs Transformation

But I think it's worth a post to note that if we really want something new, something better, to finally break free and make it, we need Transformation not Change. And for Transformation to occur, something has to die.

Maybe it's pride that dies, as we choose to admit someone else was right.
Maybe it's a plant or animal as we need food to become energy and keep us alive.
Maybe it's a business decision to sacrifice one exploitable market, to see what new opportunities exist as we include the world.

If we look at everything we do as a zero-sum game, this is terrifying. Because as something dies, there is less to work with and have. Are all our fears tied back to looking at friends, family and life from a perspective of a zero-sum game? If there is really on so much, we have to fight and hoard to get as much as we can.

From my perspective, God is not about a zero-sum game at all. There aren't only X number of seats available on that final train home. He loves us all, there is no special club. We are all welcome. To deal with our separation, we must choose to let go of that which is broken, in order to abide with the Him. But we are free to choose to be a part of the abundance he provides, or to choose what is limited. The transformation that brings us into God's abundance is the death of our hold on hoarding the things around us.

How do you solve the crisis in Zimbabwe?

I don't think *anyone* outside of Zimbabwe would defend Robert Mugabe as 'doing the right thing'. Far too many shady things going on, not to mention people being killed and others starving. I'd be interested to find out if there anyone who wants to try and defend the man. The first question is what do you personally gain?

If you're brave, ask someone if they are evil. The bible says we (the whole world) are. Do you believe that? Do you believe you are as evil as Robert Mugabe?

It's the pivitol perspective that drives everything else we think, act on, understand and governs all that we do. It's foundational to every crisis. The question is not if you're better than him, the question is if you are owning the things you are responsible for.

The Bible starts off will a big wide angle look at where it all started in creation. Then the story starts with a profound picture of the most important thing: brokeness, sin, human evil: whatever you want to call it. From there, it pretty much becomes ways to hide it, avoid it or blame it on someone else.

It's so easy to avoid responsibility. We sometimes don't have to try. Heck, sometimes it's obvious that others are to blame, and we have to work *really* hard to articulate our role in what is broken. Of course, bad things *do* happen to us, and we are victims of other people's pain. But that is never an excuse for us to keep *being* a victim and blaming them. At some point, it's our responsibility to own the pain. Yes, that is not fair that someone can cause pain, that we now have to accept. That is just a fact of life.

Sometimes everything can be broken around us, and we are just stuck there. That is the moment to understand how broken we are too, and reach out in community with those around us to be a part of a better tomorrow. Not judgemental as some kind of self appointed Jesus.

Sometimes the pain is clearly being caused by someone else, and you are 'innocent' as you stand by unscathed. Hmmmmm, can we really call that innocent?

Sometimes we enjoy the bliss of the honeymoon, when we embark on something new because we're gaining something we want. We're in bliss until our own selfishness (aka: evil broken nature) creeps up on us and the honeymoon is over because we are faced with all the things we thought we were entitled to that isn't really working out the way we want.

But perhaps the scariest of all is the notion that 'I'm absolutely right and I need to inflict change on you for you to be happy' as some superior position. As Scott and I talked about, as soon as you think your position is absolutely solid, correct and justifiable, it's certainly going sideways: you just don't know it yet. This is only possible if you think you're really smart, and not as messed up as someone else. Religious conflict (muslim vs christian, war on Iraq, communist vs capitalist) all fall into this category. Sure there are some things better than others, and someone has to lead and choose. And sometimes revolution is required.

The cycle of pain from crisis will continue until responsibility is taken.

Something God doesn't care about

I don't think that God cares that I'm turning 40 in just a few weeks.

First off, God is timeless, so what does that even mean to him? I'm sure he can conceive of someone turning 40, but there is no significance to him of 40 years of anything. In fact, I think the Bible supports that.

That begs the question of why do I care. I sure am thinking about it a lot. I think there is a bunch of measuring, reflecting, contemplating and such going on in my head. But again, those are all *my* issues. God doesn't have those issues, and supposedly He's already provided a solution.

I want to be spoiled and not have to deal with the pain of all of that reflection. All of those emotional issues related to pain about time moving on, things I haven't done yet, things I'll never get to do at this point. Wow, I really think I could wallow in all that.

I think life has pain so we choose to trust. I think God cares what we choose to do about pain. I don't think God cares very much about where the pain comes from.

If Mike is right:

The reality of life is suffering.
The reaction to suffering is fear.
The response to fear is either trust or control.
The effect of control is to propagate suffering.
The result of trust is transformation.
The mechanism of transformation is death.
The opportunity of death is resurrection.
The outcome of resurrection is true life.

An age milestone has got to be the a key realization of lots of emotional pain. Grappling with our emotional loose ends must result in fear, although I'm not sure that I can articulate the kinds of things that I'm fearful of. Perhaps knowing someone with cancer has fears attached? Perhaps some broken relationships produce fears? Maybe it's all those undone things at work that I fear the consequences of? If I'm all about clarity as a person, perhaps it's that I fear my life is way to messy? I'm afraid I'm failing as a person? I'm not sure but the designated response to the fear is to control it. That's why a guy in mid life crisis is supposed to go buy a sports car right? To control the situation by making ourselves feel better? Yeah. I can see that causing even more suffering for sure. I don't know about a sports car, but a trip to a beach would be nice.

So the right response is to trust. Trust that God is sovereign, all powerful and active in our world today. I need to remember that I am his child that he loves just as I am, and know that as I live my life and do what I do that there isn't anything left undone. Now that sounds really comforting. I can feel it. I don't think a sports car can deliver that.

But I'm not sure what that transforms? And what has to die... Is that my ego that has to die? I'm willing to let that go at this point. Somehow, that seems too easy.

This is going to require more beer and wings to process.

What I do best

I was asked what is it that I do best. Easy to answer for some (like I
fix cars) and really hard in others. I guess the easies answer is that
I like to make an things run.

I was asked once at the end of college, as I went through 'missionary
accreditation' what I would like to do. I told the President of the
Christian and Missionary Alliance who asked, that I want to run stuff.
I had high language scores and wanted to go to a field where many people
were and I'd run the field and leave the others to do their job. Free
them from the administration. I was told the Christian and Missionary
Alliance doesn't send people overseas to run stuff. I should go be a
pastor.

Easy for me now to point at that and call it short sighted. Whatever
'chain of authority' that would violate and whatever sacred cows it
would slaughter, it prevented the mission from moving ahead. I left.
Perhaps I'm flattering myself here, but why would you not want a guy
with decent marks, a knack for languages, who has traveled the world and
eager to make the mission field great not to do what it is he believes
he is best to do? I'm thinking those same people may agree with me today.

What's worse, is I could have written the above the instant after those
words were spoken. I think in some ways for years I've been believing I
just can't do that. Even though as a kid I've had a sense that I'm
built to run stuff. In some ways I've been fighting my own self doubt
still to this day. Why would anyone cast shadows that can only serve to
rob life and liveliness? Why does *anyone* accept that? Why isn't
leadership better at understanding that than me and encouraging it?

How many times have we all tried to control people, instead of our
responsibilities, and not believed the words of others to our own
detriment?