Do you feel truly free?

In your country?
In your circle of friends?
In your workplace?
In your place of worship?
With God?

I had a conversation where the answer was a mix of yes and no. This was interesting to me, since I expected the answer would be a definitive no because none of us are free, or a definitive yes because being in a community involves an acceptance and choice of owning the the rules of that community. There is not freedom without ownership. There is only freedom with submission.

I'm not sure how one ends up in a community (choosing to be there) and not feel ownership with a 'free' voice within that community.

In North America we throw around 'It's a free country' all the time, and it's true: we are free compared to a dictatorship in another country. But there is no free lunch. That freedom is bought with a price. We happen to live (and choose to continue to be!) in a country where people fought for a system of government that gives us choice. That makes us feel free, because for the most part it's so well set up that it just works. But the fact is that if we decided we don't like the rules, and do what we want, there are consequences. Choice includes responsibility. For the most part we follow the rules because they are what we define as 'normal' and it is easy to be compliant (culture subconsciously aids us here).

In reality though, none of us are free.

All of the above are actually the same structures of 'communities' we belong to. Community is important, and includes authority structures (formally or in-formally), rules, responsibilities, and things we get from the community and things we give. There are codes of conduct we choose to submit to in order to be a part of the community to avoid consequences if rules are broken. If we feel free, it is because we are in line with the rules. If we don't feel free, it simply means we don't feel that we have choices and want different things than the community is offering. Ironically, I believe all people have choices: we just don't understand the situation or do not want to own the responsibility of the consequences.

Many brave soldiers have died fighting for a cause in a 'community' we call a country. For right or wrong reasons, whether they chose the cause or felt they didn't have a choice, they fought and died to support the ideals or ideology of that community. Freedom to choose is bought with blood.

If you believe you are free (or without consequence) in any one of those communities above, you likely will not be able to articulate the implied or direct rules or authority in those communities, or understand the rules and authority you have subconsciously accepted and the entirety of the responsibility you bear. If you did, it wouldn't seem so free. If you do not feel free, without understanding and accepting the rules and authority of the community you are in, you will feel confused or frustrated by expectations you can't understand or fear.

If you believe there is freedom without consequence and ownership of choice that you must bear, you have not been paying attention to the sacrifice of all that have come before. You are not special. Life isn't just more fair for you than others: many debts have been paid already. You are just enjoying the consequences of what others that have paid for you. You are blessed, not more special than others. There is no free lunch.

Isn't it bad that 'none of us are free'? Absolutely not! This is just how life works. Life can only flourish when we realize that for there to be 'freedom', ownership of pain has to happen in community with others so we earn freedom together. If we believe we are free (without the hard work of choosing or ownership) then we are just pretending and perhaps even believing we are special and entitled to be exempt from the pain. If we realize that in *any* community we choose to be in, we are a vital part of that community and need to become responsible to participate and support that community. Or choose not to own what is required and leave. This is honest living. People that experience 'freedom' in a community without giving are only half there.

Once we have owned our choices, and contributed together with others, great communities are achieved, and freedom can be enjoyed by all in that community. But no one should feel free from the work to get there. No one should choose to be in a community expecting to get anything positive without giving in. Complacency is not the same as ownership.

Country: Is why you need to take voting seriously, as you have been given the responsibility to be a part of choosing of leadership. Dying in a war may be required, FYI.

Friends: You can't just 'take' in the relationship, you have a responsibility to give and define what being friends means. You absolutely need to be aware of what you are required to give, and what you do and do not agree to in being part of of the relationship. Lest you feel like you have no choice but to go along with someone else's rules.

Workplace: A healthy workplace wants you to speak, own clear responsibilities and give to build the business model. Not to just simply do what you are told and collect a pay check. Something is wrong if that is happening.

Place of Worship: Religion is full of subtle rules. If you choose to brand yourself with a particular set of rules, you should participate 100%. Including your check book.

With God: Ah, the cool thing here is that according to the Red Letters in the Bible, the only requirements are to love the lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. That's it. If there are other rules given to you to please God, there is something wrong.

For me, God is the ultimate authority, and what He thinks matters. We know what is instructed of us (see above) and otherwise, we are free to participate in whatever communities we want, given that we follow His rules while we participate. In fact, I don't think there are prizes in heaven for following any rules created by man, we just have communities as part of how life works. One is not better than another. We are judged on God's rules as we executed them as a part of whatever communities we choose to belong.

We can feel free to any particular community that gives us joy as we own the rules and authority structures of those communities, and enjoy the 'freedom' that comes from accepting and choosing compliance and working hard to give. Knowing that by doing that we are accepted and a valuable part of life. We can expect to feel isolated if we try to join a community, and only exist within that community without accepting ownership and choosing to give.

So the real question is what communities (or authorities) do you choose to submit to? Then the hard question that follows if you do not feel right about being painted with that brush, why do you choose to stay?