Something God doesn't care about

I don't think that God cares that I'm turning 40 in just a few weeks.

First off, God is timeless, so what does that even mean to him? I'm sure he can conceive of someone turning 40, but there is no significance to him of 40 years of anything. In fact, I think the Bible supports that.

That begs the question of why do I care. I sure am thinking about it a lot. I think there is a bunch of measuring, reflecting, contemplating and such going on in my head. But again, those are all *my* issues. God doesn't have those issues, and supposedly He's already provided a solution.

I want to be spoiled and not have to deal with the pain of all of that reflection. All of those emotional issues related to pain about time moving on, things I haven't done yet, things I'll never get to do at this point. Wow, I really think I could wallow in all that.

I think life has pain so we choose to trust. I think God cares what we choose to do about pain. I don't think God cares very much about where the pain comes from.

If Mike is right:

The reality of life is suffering.
The reaction to suffering is fear.
The response to fear is either trust or control.
The effect of control is to propagate suffering.
The result of trust is transformation.
The mechanism of transformation is death.
The opportunity of death is resurrection.
The outcome of resurrection is true life.

An age milestone has got to be the a key realization of lots of emotional pain. Grappling with our emotional loose ends must result in fear, although I'm not sure that I can articulate the kinds of things that I'm fearful of. Perhaps knowing someone with cancer has fears attached? Perhaps some broken relationships produce fears? Maybe it's all those undone things at work that I fear the consequences of? If I'm all about clarity as a person, perhaps it's that I fear my life is way to messy? I'm afraid I'm failing as a person? I'm not sure but the designated response to the fear is to control it. That's why a guy in mid life crisis is supposed to go buy a sports car right? To control the situation by making ourselves feel better? Yeah. I can see that causing even more suffering for sure. I don't know about a sports car, but a trip to a beach would be nice.

So the right response is to trust. Trust that God is sovereign, all powerful and active in our world today. I need to remember that I am his child that he loves just as I am, and know that as I live my life and do what I do that there isn't anything left undone. Now that sounds really comforting. I can feel it. I don't think a sports car can deliver that.

But I'm not sure what that transforms? And what has to die... Is that my ego that has to die? I'm willing to let that go at this point. Somehow, that seems too easy.

This is going to require more beer and wings to process.